When it comes to raising kids, not everyone is cut out to be a parent. How many times have you watched a parent do something so completely out of character for any parent that you wondered why they even had kids? While it is true that every parent has a day from time to time that is not their best, on the whole most parents feel they made the right decision when they chose to take on the task of raising kids. But how did they decide? If you are someone who is looking at the pros and cons of raising kids in today’s crazy world, here are a few things you may want to consider on each side of the question.
The Pros of Raising Kids Today
There are of course many ways that you can look at raising kids and reasons for making the big decision. But for many parents one of the biggest reasons is that incredible bond between a parent and a child, one that compares to nothing else in the world. Looking beyond this big motivator, here are some other reasons many people decide to take the risk and become a parent.
The Family Name – For many cultures a big reason to have kids is so you can have the family continue into the future. It includes both passing on the genetic material and knowing that a piece of you continues on in the world.
Sharing Knowledge – Whether it is specific knowledge such as families that tend to produce doctors or simply sharing the knowledge you have acquired to another, passing on your wisdom has long been a reason to take on raising kids.
Creating a Better World – For many parents this comes with the arrival of kids. When you know your children will outlive you and see that world that is to come, it makes you want to be sure it is one they will enjoy. This might even include the fact your child will contribute to that world.
Bringing Partners Together – While it is true that having a child can be stressful, it can also often bring two partners together and make the relationship stronger. It may sound old fashion, but parenthood has been known to create lasting bonds between partners.
The Cons of Raising Kids
While there are plenty of people who won’t hesitate to tell you that you are selfish to decide you don’t want to have kids, ignore them. There are plenty of perfectly good reasons many couples decide that while they have nothing against kids, having one or two of their own just isn’t in their game plan. Adults get to choose what they want, so should you. Here are a few reasons why.
The Cost of Children – For many couples the decision can come down to what they can afford. With the advent of birth control more couples are looking at their finances and deciding to skip parenting because of the cost.
It is Exhausting – If your relationship cannot take on more stress, then maybe kids are not a good path for the two of you. Kids suck up a lot of energy, so be sure you will have it for them first.
You Both Have to Want Kids – This is often the deal breaker in many couples. If only one of you wants to have kids, it is probably not a great idea to go ahead anyway. In the end it may cause lasting damage to the relationship.
Takes Away from Other Life Experiences – If you are both ardent fans of travel or have sports or a hobby that your life centers on, raising kids will have an effect on this. For couples who have their hobby as the center of their lives, kids just may not be the right option.
Kids are Messy – You just can’t escape the fact that if you have kids, life and your home will be messy. For some that isn’t important, but if it is you might want to reconsider raising kids that will leave a mess wherever they go.
Looking at Raising Kids
So what do you think? Are you a couple who loves to travel off the beaten path for weeks at a time? Does getting in that morning jog and evening yoga class mean more to you than being a parent? Are you both creative types who put all your energy into your art? These are not selfish concepts, they are realistic ones. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, so if raising kids is not your idea of adulthood, maybe take a look at our lists and make a few of your own. Because when we get right down to it, the best parents are those who look forward to that child’s arrival, regardless of what it means for their lives. Luckily in today’s world, we can choose.
What's your opinion?